Photo Content from Zelly Ruskin
When/how did you realize you had a creative dream or calling to fulfill?
I think I was always creative. As a child, we depended on the imagination for entertainment. Books served as a window into other worlds and inspired the willingness to embrace the make-believe and fantasy. And drawing was a wonderful outlet for expression. But, for the realization that I had artistic talent and a desire to pursue it, I credit my high school art teacher, who gave me rein to create outside the bounds of an assignment. Through the encouragement and freedom in that classroom, I found confidence and a sense of purpose. I aspired to be an art therapist and studied psychology and studio art in college. Though, ultimately, my career took a different direction, the artistic side of me has always played an important role in my life. Decades later, I’ve set aside the pencils, paintbrushes, and canvases, and now find joy painting with words.
What advice would you give to someone who wanted to have a life in writing?
Writing is a solitary experience. The path to publishing is difficult and your book’s success depends on the subjective opinions of others. Build a community of other writers. Whether it be through workshops or Facebook groups, the support, feedback and shoulders to lean on are invaluable.
What was the single worst distraction that kept you from writing this book?
My recovery from surgery for an unruptured brain aneurysm.
Can you tell us when you started NOT YOURS TO KEEP, how that came about?
After years of working on and trashing my first manuscript, I began writing Not Yours to Keep in 2018. It was a story that I’d wanted to write for a long time. I had the plot idea from a photograph I found in someone’s pocket, and they lied about it. The concept tied together with my experience of working in adoption. The challenge was how to make it interesting? What if the photo was of a baby? Why would that baby be significant to the person who lied about it? Then, I added one more element from my real-life experiences. After I left my job in adoption, I experienced fertility issues and I drew on that as the biggest what if for this story: What if I had known I had fertility issues when I was working in adoption? How would that impact my morals and ethics? Would I have crossed the line?
What were your feelings when your first novel was accepted/when you first saw the cover of the finished product?
Take my breath away-is this really happening? Since the moment my publisher accepted my manuscript, it’s felt like a perpetual state of joyful surreal.
What were your inspirations for the character development?
In my first career, I was an adoption consultant. I never forgot my clients—not the couples, not the adoptees, and especially not the birth parents. I’ve carried their stories with me ever since. They served as the inspiration for the characters in Not Yours Keep. I created the cast by blending composites of adoption and foster care clients with tidbits of personal experiences. Then they grew and changed based on their relationships with other characters and the situations they faced. I also molded them based on many unexpected encounters I had. One of my favorite anecdotes is the day a chatty cab driver, unaware of my background, talked about being adopted. He expressed raw, visceral emotions about the pain of rejection he’d experienced. I harnessed both his feelings and the way he made me feel and used that to make certain characters in my story more dimensional, with a perspective I otherwise couldn’t have.
I think I was always creative. As a child, we depended on the imagination for entertainment. Books served as a window into other worlds and inspired the willingness to embrace the make-believe and fantasy. And drawing was a wonderful outlet for expression. But, for the realization that I had artistic talent and a desire to pursue it, I credit my high school art teacher, who gave me rein to create outside the bounds of an assignment. Through the encouragement and freedom in that classroom, I found confidence and a sense of purpose. I aspired to be an art therapist and studied psychology and studio art in college. Though, ultimately, my career took a different direction, the artistic side of me has always played an important role in my life. Decades later, I’ve set aside the pencils, paintbrushes, and canvases, and now find joy painting with words.
What advice would you give to someone who wanted to have a life in writing?
Writing is a solitary experience. The path to publishing is difficult and your book’s success depends on the subjective opinions of others. Build a community of other writers. Whether it be through workshops or Facebook groups, the support, feedback and shoulders to lean on are invaluable.
What was the single worst distraction that kept you from writing this book?
My recovery from surgery for an unruptured brain aneurysm.
Can you tell us when you started NOT YOURS TO KEEP, how that came about?
After years of working on and trashing my first manuscript, I began writing Not Yours to Keep in 2018. It was a story that I’d wanted to write for a long time. I had the plot idea from a photograph I found in someone’s pocket, and they lied about it. The concept tied together with my experience of working in adoption. The challenge was how to make it interesting? What if the photo was of a baby? Why would that baby be significant to the person who lied about it? Then, I added one more element from my real-life experiences. After I left my job in adoption, I experienced fertility issues and I drew on that as the biggest what if for this story: What if I had known I had fertility issues when I was working in adoption? How would that impact my morals and ethics? Would I have crossed the line?
What were your feelings when your first novel was accepted/when you first saw the cover of the finished product?
Take my breath away-is this really happening? Since the moment my publisher accepted my manuscript, it’s felt like a perpetual state of joyful surreal.
What were your inspirations for the character development?
In my first career, I was an adoption consultant. I never forgot my clients—not the couples, not the adoptees, and especially not the birth parents. I’ve carried their stories with me ever since. They served as the inspiration for the characters in Not Yours Keep. I created the cast by blending composites of adoption and foster care clients with tidbits of personal experiences. Then they grew and changed based on their relationships with other characters and the situations they faced. I also molded them based on many unexpected encounters I had. One of my favorite anecdotes is the day a chatty cab driver, unaware of my background, talked about being adopted. He expressed raw, visceral emotions about the pain of rejection he’d experienced. I harnessed both his feelings and the way he made me feel and used that to make certain characters in my story more dimensional, with a perspective I otherwise couldn’t have.
MEET THE CHARACTERS
BILLIE is a 32-year-old adoption specialist. A consummate professional in both attire and ethics. She has long, shiny chestnut hair and a zip in her gait. Her mantra is “Strength, courage, heart.” Think Emma Watson or Blake Lively playing the girl next door with secrets; a sympathetic woman faced with questionable moral decisions who could choose either the dark or high road.
Tyler is a good-looking 34-year-old successful lawyer vying to make partner at his firm. Though driven by his career, he is a compassionate man. But there are things about his past he’s never shared, not even with his wife, Billie, and now a stranger is sending him upsetting texts. Think Glen Powell or Ryan Reynolds effortlessly portraying a guy who can be romantic, serious, playful, or tense.
Anne, a woman haunted by childhood abuse, looks more than her 34 years. She relies on alcohol to cope. All she wants is to be with the two people she most regrets losing: the baby she gave up for adoption, and the man of her dreams. Picture Mandy Moore, or the imaginary sister of Laura Linney & Sarah Paulsen, playing the role of a messy, ordinary, relatable woman on the edge.
What is the first job you have had?
Aside from babysitting, my first “corporate” paycheck was for letting someone sniff my shoes. You can’t make that up- well, I am an author, so I can, but it’s true. Odor Eaters paid my high school cheer squad to test their new products. We wore their inserts in our saddle shoes (yes, I said it-saddle shoes) during games. We’d go to the offices where the testers sniffed and rated the effectiveness. Their job was worse than mine—I got a good story out of it.
What is your happiest childhood memory?
The one that stands out to me right now is being in the back seat of a car with my two best friends, singing on our way to preschool.
What was your favorite subject when you were in school and why?
In elementary school, reading was my favorite subject. I couldn’t get enough of it. I was a fast reader and absorbed everything, so the reading comprehension tests were fun for me too.
Name one thing you miss about being a kid.
The innocence.
Tyler is a good-looking 34-year-old successful lawyer vying to make partner at his firm. Though driven by his career, he is a compassionate man. But there are things about his past he’s never shared, not even with his wife, Billie, and now a stranger is sending him upsetting texts. Think Glen Powell or Ryan Reynolds effortlessly portraying a guy who can be romantic, serious, playful, or tense.
Anne, a woman haunted by childhood abuse, looks more than her 34 years. She relies on alcohol to cope. All she wants is to be with the two people she most regrets losing: the baby she gave up for adoption, and the man of her dreams. Picture Mandy Moore, or the imaginary sister of Laura Linney & Sarah Paulsen, playing the role of a messy, ordinary, relatable woman on the edge.
What is the first job you have had?
Aside from babysitting, my first “corporate” paycheck was for letting someone sniff my shoes. You can’t make that up- well, I am an author, so I can, but it’s true. Odor Eaters paid my high school cheer squad to test their new products. We wore their inserts in our saddle shoes (yes, I said it-saddle shoes) during games. We’d go to the offices where the testers sniffed and rated the effectiveness. Their job was worse than mine—I got a good story out of it.
What is your happiest childhood memory?
The one that stands out to me right now is being in the back seat of a car with my two best friends, singing on our way to preschool.
What was your favorite subject when you were in school and why?
In elementary school, reading was my favorite subject. I couldn’t get enough of it. I was a fast reader and absorbed everything, so the reading comprehension tests were fun for me too.
Name one thing you miss about being a kid.
The innocence.
Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heart break or have never loved before?
It’s better to have known love.
When you looked in the mirror first thing this morning, what was the first thing you thought?
Who is that?
If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you had “no regrets” what would it be?
I would have stayed on the runaway horse instead of jumping off.
At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
Both, I’m ambidextrous.
What is the weirdest thing you have seen in someone else’s home?
A cabinet permanently caulked on top of a bathtub.
When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
Today.
Which incident in your life that totally changed the way you think today?
From the moment I learned about my brain aneurysm, my perspective on life completely shifted. Here’s how I summed it up after successful surgery:
“Appreciate the sunrise. Embrace the day’s twists and turns. Be grateful for the sunset. Never take for granted the ability to take life for granted.”
What were you doing the last time you really had a good laugh?
Writing this. It’s a had-to-be-there thing, but I’m remembering a time, many years ago, when I was leaving a Target with one of my kids. We were back a bit but could see someone passing by our car in the lot. I hit the key FOB to pop the trunk as a prank. It sounds terrible now, but the person’s reaction still has me laughing. In today’s world, it would have made an exceptional viral TikTok.
Billie Campbell, a Massachusetts adoption specialist grappling with fertility issues, dreams of adopting a baby, but not just any baby—her pregnant client’s baby. While her longing threatens to send her down a dark path, her husband, Tyler, is keeping he’s full of doubts about becoming a father, and he’s also trying to figure out who is sending him upsetting anonymous texts and photos. On the other side of town, Anne, a woman scarred by childhood abuse, obsesses with a second chance at becoming a family with the two people she regrets ever having let go the baby she gave up for adoption twenty years ago and the man of her dreams.
Their lives become entangled when the client’s newborn is abducted, and Billie becomes a prime suspect.
Amid the chaos unleashed by the abduction, Tyler uncovers a link between the person tormenting him and the abduction—but now Billie has disappeared too. The race to find both her and the baby is on; but will they find them before it’s too late?
You can purchase Not Yours to Keep at the following Retailers:
And now, The Giveaways.
Thank you ZELLY RUSKIN for making this giveaway possible.
1 Winner will receive a Copy of Not Yours to Keep by Zelly Ruskin.class).
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